hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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