I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
