I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
