sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize