You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
