Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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