i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
