I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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