Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
