Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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