physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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