I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
