Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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