In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
