I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
