I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
