honey bunches of taint.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
