I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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