What a fucking waste of an outfit
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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