Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
