i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize