at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
