he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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