he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
