Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
