I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
