im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
