Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
