Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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