hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize