my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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