I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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