I'm drive I can fine osifer
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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