The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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