On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
