is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
