her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
