there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm at about main and main street
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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