I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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