it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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