I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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