Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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