I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
