my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
