how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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