i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Boobs speak an international language.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I touched a dick in church today
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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