He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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