Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it's like iHOP with fire
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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