One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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