So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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