There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
