stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
