3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
