i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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