So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize