She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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