Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
