eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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