Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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