Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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