she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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