There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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