I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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