She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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