I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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