WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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