Dude my mom stole all your condoms
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
