I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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