Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please come you make the beer taste better
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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