to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
