how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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