Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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