On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this is an emotional support booty call
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
