is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
